GOWY (Growing Old With You) Journal #1: Sleepless nights

Oh, I still remember how we first met... his smile, his eyes, the clothes he was wearing, the smelly cap, the Khumbela backpack and the dirty Converse shoes he was wearing... EVERYTHING... I remember how I told myself that meeting him up was totally a wrong idea and was not supposed to happen ever again... haha... that first was followed by a second one... it's on the 2nd when I noticed even MORE reasons to "not" like him... then a third and so on... but guess what, the things that I didn't really like much about him were the same things (I think) that bound us together... and made me fall in love with him... over and over again... OVER!!! on the other hand... NAH wait, let's not talk about the things he didn't like about me at that time... that'll be a long list I suppose... (lucky me, he's too busy to blog about it hahaha!)

So what's with all these reminiscin'... funny how we think of the things we never thought we'd do for love but we did...

People who are close to us (meaning those who get to sleep with us-in one room-) know how my husband snores... HE LITERALLY SLEEPS SOUNDLY! haha... I never thought I would actually learn to live with it... but I did... I developed a not-so-ordinary pattern to compromise with his snoring... you see, couples compromise to keep the marriage and the family together... when he sleeps I mean SNORES, I take it as my signal to start my night shift... I do my chores while he sleeps... (years ago, I tried to sleep through it but I never actually had a successful one at that)... then I take my turn to sleep when he leaves for work in the morning... So I'm basically a graveyard shift... a lot of people tried to talk me through correcting this... you bet, I tried... WE TRIED... but sleeping pills just make me useless during the day... I tried keeping myself busy the whole day so I'd be dead-tired once we get to bed but believe me, his "snore" can wake me up even when I'm in a coma...  but as doctors/older friends/relatives/and everybody else would put it "ONE DAY IT WILL TAKE ITS TOLL ON YOU"... I know, I know... and that one day just came when I turned 30ish... I get weaker and weaker each time... migraine has become a frequent visitor since then...

so enough for the background...

My husband had it checked already and I learned what he has to go through to get rid of it and I am just not comfortable with it... it's like this, I can bear the sleepless nights, the migraine and all but I cannot bear having him go under the knife...

Now, there's this funny pattern that I'm kind of hating but I know the "hating" part will soon pass so here it goes...

He lets me sleep first... successful!!! But I wake up in the middle of the night because of the trembling sound of his snore, it's too loud that it causes the bed to shake... so I get up -gently- so he wouldn't notice then I do my chores and then go back to bed (pretending) to be asleep so when he wakes up he won't get upset that I didn't sleep again... I don't know how long I can keep up with this new set-up... what I know is that I don't want him to risk anything for me... he already gave me his heart and soul, there's nothing more I can ask for (naks!)-ang arte ko daw sabi lang ng doctor aalisin tonsils nya hindi naman daw heart transplant... but if you could just see the look on his face when he saw the procedure via youtube... halos mag pass-out sya... wala na syang kulay...  trivia: my husband can bear any emotional struggle, name it, he can handle it with a smile but show him a needle, a gauze with matching alcohol, believe me, LIBRE ANG LUHA NYA...

Now, call it whatever but that's how I love what I hate about him and that I hate that he loves me so much he's willing to do what he hates the most to get rid of what I hate about him that I have learned to love through the years... haha... baka nga hanapin ko pa yun kapag nawala... it has been my music for 15 years now... so upbeat that it can make me workout hahaha... I agree when he told me that we are not really getting any younger and that nature is taking its toll already so we really need to do something about it but I'm still waiting for God's reply on this matter... ;-) til then, I'll enjoy playing the "sleep-cooking, sleep-eating, sleep-surfing" game...