PWD CHRONICLES: I am NOTEworthy...

When you are confined/restricted from doing physical activities, you only have limited options to choose from... sleep, eat, pray, cry, talk, surf the web, watch TV, read books...

among these choices,  
WATCHING TV/DVD (less strenuous than reading, I guess, coz in reading, your mind is also active (spell: STRESSED)
AND/OR
SLEEPING (which I can't overdo---coz---again, as I've said, I have "brain issues") cause the least stress... or lesser evil if I may say so... because you are still actively doing something "An idle mind is a devil's workshop"...

Pray, yeah right... I do that... but Praying won't take that much time and it only makes me long for Heaven all the more and a lot sooner coz the lesser time I spend in flesh and blood, the better... coz my chances of committing sin is slimmer hihihi)

My ever-loving (naks!) husband saw my painful struggle/boredom in the hospital coz this time around I didn't burden my friends to take care of me... they did hang around but only to visit... no more 24/7 monitoring chats and shifting schedules in keeping me company...

Maybe he thought that my "wanting to cope on my own" was alarming so when he came home from work last night, he handed me this... at first I thought it was a book because it was inside a brown bag from National Bookstore... to my surprise, it was a NOTE!!! Waaaaahhhh!!!

(He'd been convincing me to get the iP5 ever since it came out but I always declined coz I still have my reliable iP4s which is barely a year old plus the thought that my maintenance meds are costly enough to begin with...

*I remember telling him in passing that I would rather have this whatchamacallit-gadget (the one I often see when I'm doing my daily exercise---KOREANOVELA MARATHON haha!) than get the new iPhone...


I never thought he listens to my nonsense blahblah-angst... He takes note pala of every word I say even if it was uttered as a joke... hehe... It feels good to know that inutile as I am, he still believes that "I AM NOTE-WORTHY"...

PWD Chronicles: Better late than never... (Birthday post)

Been in and out of the hospital for months already... I dread the sight of SLMC... I'm panicky at each time I feel any of the countless symptoms... one day, I decided to just live the life the way I wanted... whatever it takes... life is short anyway, why not make the most out of it...

12-01-12... the first day of my birthday month officially started the celebration... went out to buy my wheels... ;-) so I can go anywhere anytime with my boys without the heck of crying everytime my hands & legs decide to go on strike... FYI: I am not permanently crippled, I can still walk but I easily get tired... my muscles randomly go on strike and they just stall... LITERALLY... for my safety, my husband wants me to be on my wheels most of the time... at home, I still get to move around but I choose not to because I am more accident prone now...

12-02 up to 12-11-12... surprises here and there... greetings and great things from everywhere... I couldn't ask for more... my excitement sometimes results to another ER visit... so I have to be relaxed even when my heart leaps for joy everytime I get a surprise... hihihi!

12-12-12... My bro-in-law's wedding... already feeling unwell but I had to be there because I wanted to be there... so I asked God to give me enough strength to spend that very special day with them... true enough, He gave me just enough to last me the whole day... I was getting weaker and weaker (even while I was resting) as the day passes and just when I thought I was going to get better coz we're heading home, the unexpected happened... something inside my gut just decided to say I'M TIRED and I'M OUTTA HERE... boom! I tried to fake smiles but tears just showed themselves in front of everybody... that was when my husband decided to rush me to the hospital (yet again)... I even remember saying: "Babe, wag mo kong dadalhin sa ibang hospital hindi nila alam yung sakit ko... ayokong maging guinea pig..." (my in-laws reside in FARview... meaning: SLMC Global (where my records and my doctors are) is hours away and I might be dead even before I get there in case of emergency...

At the ER, I told the doctor that it was gonna be my birthday the next day:

Me: DOC, AYOKO MAGBERDEY DITO HA...
Doc: Syempre naman... sige I'll give you your MAGIC meds (frequenting the ER made me a well-known patient who just need a shot of Demerol and ranitidine and I'm off their sight)...
OPLAN TUSOK... 1, 2, 3,... 
Me: B, ang kati... 
Then when I looked at my arms, it was red and VERY itchy...
Doc: Renee (first name basis na talaga kami), yan na lang ang kasundo mong gamot pano bayan... I have to admit you for confinement kahit for 24 hours lang coz we want to make sure your condition won't get worse... 
OPLAN TUSOK BENADRYL... and boom! Before I was able to complain, I saw bright lights and dozed off...

A few hours later... I woke up and it was MY BIRTHDAY 12-13-12... I almost forgot I was even there coz I saw this handsome angel greeting me with a big smile: "HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY BANG BANG KO... DAMI MO NG GREETINGS SA FACEBOOK"... waaaahhh si Babe pala... I thought I was in Heaven already... naks!

I remember whispering in a prayer that my husband would surprise me with a dinner date at the Fort (preferably at Aracama)... that I would spend the day with the one who gave birth to me, MY NANAY... to be with my belovedssss hehe... and of course, I wanted a cake, giftsssssss and food fest galore... It wasn't actually the kind of birthday I wished for... but my wishes were actually granted, all of them... I celebrated my birthday at the Fort Global City (yun nga lang sa St. Lukes... Supposedly, Aracama---malapit lapit naman baka na-misheard lang ni Bro kaya I had my birthday at ASACAMA lang ako)... when I woke up that morning my Nanay was there with Chocho... and of course my boys were also present the whole time... my bestest friend Bubba was there... and everybody else was there to personally greet me despite their busy scheds (my bday fell on a weekday, imagine the efforts of those who came!) ... I had not just one but 5 cakes... all of them were surprise gifts from different people who love me so dearly... Gifts!?!?!*** oh no, it was like I had a birthday party... gifts flooded... birthday hugs and kisses... but the only thing I missed was the food fest... I WAS RESTRICTED FROM EATING ANYTHING COZ I HAD TO UNDERGO ENDOSCOPY... Seriously?!?!? FASTING ON MY BIRTHDAY!?!?!? Whatduh!?!? Is this some kind of a joke?!?!?! IT'S NOT FUNNY!!!... yeah it was not funny at all... right after that stressful procedure (I was sedated-- so technically,) "after" the sedatives set off, I was told that I still can't take anything as it might irritate my tummy... and I went begging my nurses to call my doctor because for crying out loud IT WAS MY BIRTHDAY!!!! And I can't eat anything~??!?!?!?!

So for my birthday sake, my doctor ordered for a liquid diet for me... huwaaaaattttt!?!??! yeah, you read it right... LIQUID... liquid rice (it was not even a congee, it was literally water that tasted like rice)... a soup that tasted like meat and veggie and a liquid dessert (a liquid GELatin! that's not gelatin, that's water with gelatin flavor!) ... but then again, I had all my other wishes granted so what's there to complain about... I stayed in the hospital for almost a week (24 hours became 124 hours at least)

See? that's how life has been ever since I got sick... I get to accept all the lemons it has to offer and just mix them with tequila ---- no, no--- I meant... make some lemonade... hahaha! Life is too short to dwell on the shoulda-woulda-coulda... so I just make the most out of each moment...

I may sound weird if I say that this illness is a blessing... but weird as it is, I welcome this blessing with arms widely open because I know that whatever the reason behind this, God has greater plans for me... so what more can I ask for... I was advised not to post about my illness as those who don't like me may rejoice and say that this is my KARMA... well, I have always believed that those who care for me would appreciate it if they will know how I am and would be specific on how they would pray for me... on the other hand, those who don't like me would still not like me either way... so why would I care about what they say... again, life is too short to sweat the small stuff... I have a big world that shows me how much I'm needed in it... I was brought up believing that we all get what we deserve... I deserved to be loved dearly every single day... I may not be sinless but I get to sin less because there's this talk bubble in my head saying: SIGE KA PAG BAD KA MAINIT SA HELL AT WALA SI TATAY MO DUN! That in itself is a blessing because it is not everyday that you get to think of the predicament in hell before you sin... more often than not, we find ourselves regretful of our wrongdoings... Yan ang advantage ng IT COULD BE ANYTIME SICKNESS... mas malayo ka ng one inch sa kasalanan... hehe

This illness is yet my greatest blessing because I get to see how much I mean to those who mean the world to me... I can proudly say that I matter because they get to say it in my face (that's the thing about being terminal... people who love you will find it stupid not to let you know coz it might be too late if they won't)... Everyday, I get to appreciate the sun as it shines and thank the good Lord as it sets... I get to show my love each and every time I have the chance (every time happens to be all the time)... and doing good becomes involuntary... making amends becomes NECESSARY... pride's gone suddenly... and most of all, YOU GET TO SEE WHO YOU ARE MEANT TO BE... that's when you start to truly, deeply, humbly PRAISE AND THANK THE LORD ALMIGHTY...

***Most of the gifts I got on my birthday were religious items... It was not those things that made me pray more and more but the FAITH, HOPE, LOVE that those items stand for... It is humbling when you know that more people talk to God about you... when they light candles to symbolize their ardent wish for your healing... when masses are being held for your speedy recovery... it is more than words to say how much they love you... because they wanted to be with you more... they find this life more beautiful having you around... for me, making them spend more time on their knees for my sake is already a blessing of LOVE... I couldn't be happier, more blessed, more grateful knowing how many people send prayers for me... I live to thank each one of you! You have already brought down HEAVEN HERE ON EARTH FOR ME! Thank you all so much! My heart is filled with your love and prayers!

GOD IS SO GOOD!!!

THANK YOU, LORD!!!

PWD Chronicles: Watch and Learn

Answering the question: "HOW ARE YOU?" can really be so exhausting at times so more often than not I find myself saying: "I'm fine!" and my insides just scream the painful hell out of me saying: AMALAYER... hehe...

I don't look sick...
but you don't look stupid...
looks can be deceiving... http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/

I hope those who truly care for me may take time to watch this video to further explain what: "I'M FINE" really means to me... Apart from having Epilepsy, Muscular Myotonic Dystrophy, Degenerative Disc Disease, GERD and a fatty liver, I also happen to suffer this Chronic Fatigue Syndrome... I am not posting all these for pity... I don't need it... I need your prayers... nothing more, nothing less... I don't need judgement, I am bound to face the final one (we all are, anyway)... just please allow me to enjoy life while it lasts...

 

I DIDN'T GET THIS BECAUSE I LACK SLEEP... IT IS THE OTHER WAY AROUND... I LACK SLEEP BECAUSE I HAVE THIS... FOR CRYING OUT LOUD... IT'S NOT THAT I DON'T HAVE BETTER THINGS TO DO RATHER THAN SPENDING TIME SURFING THE NET... IT IS THE LEAST PAINFUL/DANGEROUS THING TO DO WHEN YOU ARE HANDICAPPED, WELL THAT'S WAY BETTER THAN CRYING & CURSING THE DAY I WAS BORN, MIND YOU...

 

Despite all these, I am grateful for my life... 

my pain and/or the people who want to put me don't can't make me feel otherwise...

God is good!

He makes all things beautiful...

In HIS time...

PWD Chronicles: Fly me to the moon...

Ever since I was a child, I have always wanted to explore the world... I wanted to be a flight attendant so I can earn while I'm living my dream...

I've always wanted to travel...  to see new places... to meet new faces...

but God has other plans...

After a college degree, a marriage degree and a kid, I still tried my luck...
degree = check... 
height = check...
face = DOUBLE check (just kidding)...
vital stats = TRIPLE check (pagbigyan nyo na)
skills = ?HALA!?!??!?! "swimming skill" is a must for a flight attendant...
dun pa lang BOKYA na... I never learned how to swim (because even as a child, I already had this muscle sprain -pulikat- my reflexes were very slow to respond given that I was hyper active pa at that time... back then, I thought it was just an embarrassing thing... now, science has got a name for it "MUSCULAR MYOTONIC DYSTROPHY"-soshal na pulikat/pamimitig ng laman-laman... Now, that explains why I was never successful with girly Chinese garter tricks without getting wounded because I would usually trip & fall face first on the ground as I hopped... hmmm... kaya siguro ako na-'pango'... sabi ko na eh, I have this feeling that I was born with a perfectly-pointed nose but those frequent accidents might've caused my misfortune hahaha...

Growing up, I was able to go places... my parents were self-financed missionaries who spread the word of God to the poorest of the poor---... so I got to travel... but not really the kind that I have dreamt of... it's fulfilling though... I just wished I was able to document those mission works... we went places, gathered experiences, name it... (I'll try to get some photos-if there are still anything left of it)... so I told myself, "this is living my dream the noble way"... hmmm... di ko naman kasi na-mention kay Lord na gusto ko pleasure travel sabi ko lang gusto ko magtravel... that mission work didn't last long coz my father passed away even before he landed to his dream mission trip... THE HOLY LAND... he got financed by a philanthropist who sends preachers like him as tourist guides to the HOLY LAND but before he was able to fly, he was diagnosed with Liver Cirrhosis (which is now very clear to me - having the same symptoms due to excessive meds my fatty liver is also acting up- Tatay got his cirrhosis from the chronic liver problems brought about by eating whatever was served during his mission works then... my Nanay would usually scold him for that but she wasn't able to stop him from showing the people in the mountains/depressed areas that he was one of them... his immersion tactics led him to heaven's gate if I may say so... My Nanay would rather have us and herself starved to death than eat food that she didn't prepare-kaya siguro buhay pa kami)... so in short, my travel dreams died with my father...

Being married to a homebody made my dream to travel a luxurious FANTASY that could only happen when I am asleep and since I'm an insomniac, ALAM NA... impossible na talaga... during our first few years as a couple, he would rather buy food, sit back and relax at home than go to the mall to see the movies... given that he is a movie buff, he would patiently wait for his movies to be shown on TV rather than making short trips to the movie house... mind you, we didn't have cable pa then so waiting was like forever... gladly, we both landed a job in the film-making industry, so we got to have free movie passes from time to time... PAMBIHIRA NAMAN KUNG DI PA KAMI MAGMALL diba... I never got tired of praying to God, asking Him to give me the chance to see other places apart from the usual workplace, our home and the places in between... hahaha... True enough that when you pray with the purest intent, He will grant your wish... I was able to go places... thank You, Lord! pero may mali na naman sa prayers ko... sabi ko kasi "LORD, SANA KAHIT MINSAN LANG PALABASIN NYO AKO NG PILIPINAS"... so minsan nga lang... hehe...

Given all the answered prayer, multiple entry visas, the 'moohlas' to travel... I am here... UNFIT to travel... immobile... (thank God, my upper extremities are still cooperating though-oops, wag nating batiin baka maki-join sa pagha-hibernate ng legs ko)...

Can you just imagine how someone who loves to travel, someone whose only dream is to explore the world she lives in feels like when she cannot move her legs given her strong will and unkaboggable youth... it is beyond words... it is insanely absurd... ironically frustrating... but life has to go on... taking those small steps at a time is always better than lying on the bed... getting somewhere is already an answered prayer... short distance walks without pain really make me smile... long distance road trips make my heart shout for joy... and having those moments with my boys captured in photos makes me sing praises... having friends and family who understand what I am going through and reading/hearing/seeing those affirmative gestures of hope that I will be better again already make me feel heaven down here on earth...

I am forever grateful...
I am very much alive...
still breathing...
and hoping for a clearance to travel by plane (aba at talagang umaasa pa ah... OH YES, hope is the air that I breathe...)
And yes, those supermarket trips I usually do alone whenever I feel like it has become an addition to our family bonding activities... I can now have my husband join me inside the fitting room every time I go shopping for clothes... you see the perks of being God's favorite child/PWD-Persons With Divine love... He has got His reason, I am enjoying each season... to date, it is the season of love and unity... because I am never alone... I got nurses - one in SKYPE (virtual Nurse Jill), one on the phone (phone-a-nurse-Eva) and a doctor in the house (Dr. House aka Mr. Big)...

now, my hands are kinda asking me to rest... til my next kwento...

PWD Chronicles: Seizures (I'm sick, no doubt)... cease yours (coz those doubts you can live without)...

At 33, I have witnessed two of my batch-mates die of serious illnesses, one with a brain tumor and the other with cancer... they were both fighters, but they succumbed to their illnesses in such a short span of time... When a "once young" fella (like seventy-ish...++) die of such conditions we would usually hear people at the wake say: "He/she lived a full life... he/she had served his/her purpose... he/she accomplished his/her mission"... but when someone 30ish die, it is just shocking... Unfortunate... sad, sad story... Why? are short-lived lives unaccomplished?! but what if they have lived it to the fullest?! who knows? Apart from being sad about their passing, I became wary coz I have not been health-conscious for a long time... what if something happens to me? how will my boys carry on without me? I was anxious that I wanted to start the year right...

January of this year, my husband and I started with a cardio-something program at the gym...
Towards the end of my first session, I felt some kind of numbness-turned-tiredness-turned-painful cramps all over my body... I ignored it thinking it might just be a natural physical reaction cause I was "exercise-less" for a long time... I opted to ignore the pain as it worsened hoping it would go away as soon as my body gets accustomed to the exercise pattern... but after two weeks, I had a partial UNMOVABLE - UNCONTROLLABLE body (it was a battle between feeling nothing-as in numb- and feeling excruciating pain). I had it checked at a nearby mall-clinic (as I have this "hospital"-phobia)... they gave me several lab tests (blood stuff-xray-physical, etc)... then the Doctor prescribed painkillers but to no avail...  prescribed stronger painkillers... again to no avail... those pills even gave me more pain and allergies... for the 'nth' follow-up check up, my doctor gave me steroids for pain so I can sleep at night... steroids kinda cheated the pain coz it made me focus on my blisters, swollen gums, bloated face etc... in short, my condition got worse... I thought I can live with the pain and somehow get used to it... but I thought wrong... two consecutive seizures got me so scared that I found myself seeking for a second, hmm... actually, 3rd? opinion... I was referred to a Internal Med - Cardiologist at the best hospital in our country... so back to square one... blood test, Holter-monitoring twas a cool stuff, etc blah blah... all the lab results were clean and I am as healthy as a horse... PRAISE THE LORD!!! Ok... that being my state of mind, I started ignoring the pain and lived the way I used to... mind you, with the excruciating pain getting worse, I almost wished to join  my Tatay as he rests in peace... day by day, I was becoming emotionally weak as my body got weaker and weaker at that time... My soul was willing but my flesh was so weak... it was frustrating because my beloved husband's birthday was fast approaching and much as I wanted to go to the mall to get him something, I was too weak to care... thank goodness we're living in this electronic age... 212121 just gets everything done in a jiffy... who says an immobile like me couldn't make a big surprise?! hehe... no matter how strong my faith was, my body says otherwise... my husband could no longer bear watching me like that so he researched and found doctors who would best figure out what causes my symptoms... 

A set of Neurologists - Neurosurgeons... An Ortho... And a Psychiatrist (just kidding)... after running some serious tests like Cranial, cervical, spinal MRIs ; EEG, EMG, EMG-NCV; etc etc they found out that I had a post encephalitis-something (get ready to drown with medical terms here hahaha)...
Let's cut it short, so to date:  I have an Epilepsy (EPI-caused by a tiny brain tumor -> causing the seizures), I also happen to have a Muscular Myotonic Dystrophy (MMD- congenital- but late onset) and the one causing the pain - I am suffering from a Degenerative Disc Disease- Spondylosis -Cervical Spinal Stenosis (DDD- is a natural condition if I am 60-ish but since I am 30-ish it is an abnormality)... Given all these, when people ask me how I am or why have I been checking in-&-out of the hospital lately, I instantly get tired just by thinking of how to explain my condition... so I'd often answer like this :"ETO... wish ko lang FLU sakit ko, madaling gamutin, madaling i-explain at lalung lalo na madaling i-spell haha---lahat ng sakit ko madali sanang gamutin kung hindi sila nagsabay-sabay kasi yung solusyon sa isa-ikamamatay nung isa-pagmay ginamot kahit alin sa kanila lalala yung iba...waaaaaaaahhhhh!!!"... it's not a sarcasm... I wish there's a term or more like, words that would not sound alarming but could explain my condition well... after months and months of suffering from these conditions, I still can't find a better way to tell my story...  I'll try to find time to explain each of my condition in layman's term in my upcoming blog posts... Just an update: my fatty liver is advancing its way to create a scene as the lead role but my GERD/Heartburn is making sure it still holds the title being the most sensitive case of all times...

To this day, I am still in denial about the severity of my condition... I am keeping the faith, faking the pain, playing hide and seek with hope... I am in the process of making the most of what is left for me (how ever long or short that may be)... Living life one day at a time is in itself rewarding because when you know that you may be gone anytime, you will have no room for the unnecessary-YOU WILL DO NOTHING BUT GOOD DEEDS... I am coping with all the emotional stress that came along with this challenge... My boys are trying to make this fight as fun as ever... my family, friends---those who have personal knowledge of my condition are worried sick as hell but they are keeping my spirit high... Living with physical pain is already sickening, being "literally" sick is far much worse but having people wanting to see you bounce back to your old healthy "YOU" makes each day bearable... thank you guys!

I can't blame those who couldn't believe that I am terminally ill... coz I myself DON'T hehehe... I can go on and on with stories about how uplifting and/or depressing those disbelief had made me feel for the past months... (again, I'd also reserve that for my upcoming posts)... Mind you, being sick and choosing to stay on the bed can be literally FATAL... so sharing the itsy bitsy stuff about it may be helpful or may be harmful as I have to go through the details again... but then again, what is there to lose anyway... I'd write, shop, talk, dance, sing, cook, glide and most of all, TRAVEL while I still can... for what it's worth, this is the time when I have to go beyond the limits of medicine... when the doctors tell you that you have incurable diseases, you can either die of sadness-self-pity-sorrow or you can happily live life to the fullest... I chose the latter... 

I'm not giving up without a fight... I am struggling with fate along with my faith for my boys because each day I only get to choose between less painful and painfully-numbing-pain... so on my less painful days, I join my friends who never get tired of dragging me out of bed, bringing me to places, throwing instant parties in my honor haha... it is beyond words when people make you feel very important especially when you have nothing to offer to them except a little "thanks" with a matching smile... my goodness, this has been quite a battle... I don't have an idea where and how this is gonna end but allow me to share my journey with you... It is not morbid to plan about that special day when all these would come to its final rest... It is scary, it is sad, it is uncomfortable but hello, I'm still alive... and kicking... allow me to fight with passion and fashion... I will discover myself more and more until my last breath and I will do it with style... with a smile... and a grateful heart...

GOWY Journal # 4: mono-TEA-ny

After dilly-dallying for quite a while, I have finally decided to write about my latest (mis)adventures... ;-P

While I was trying to get my hands-off the laptop, my thoughts just keep on pushing me to grab it and write my day's story... I must admit, I miss writing but I just couldn't find the words to begin with...  forgive my indulgence, my rusty hands are trying to come up with something...

Ever since we got back from Baguio (for a short weekend trip last Feb10-13), my husband and I have been talking about our next trip... food trip, that is... strangely, it was his idea that we try new places to dine-in... anyone who knows my husband can tell that he is not really that adventurous when it comes to food... he could eat at McDo all his life and would not mind it at all... but maybe, being married to a "PICKY-EATER" (translate: anything she picks, she eats... haha!) he really had developed an appetite relative to mine over the years... lately, he's been addicted to milk teas, he'd taste different flavors each time and convince me to do the same but I always prefer being faithful to anything choco + extra pearls... he is so engrossed in it that he would post it on his FB wall to show me (since we don't have mms features on our phones)... It's all about MILK TEA (new flavors, yes... different places, yes... but it is one and the same MILK TEA... my goodness)

 

To break the monoTEAny, I decided to search for a place where he could reunite with his first love (Japanese food)... Since it was his birthday we were going to celebrate, I wanted it to be somewhere he has not gone to yet... BUT since I was not "physically" well, the place had to be somewhere near... Being allergic to anything raw, it was really a challenge to find a Japanese restaurant... making it more difficult, it has to be NEAR & affordable (it's a must coz it's my treat)... That search led me to this old place near Makati Cinema Square (where my Father used to bring me to watch movies-I wonder if it's still there)... All my efforts were rewarded when he got off the car and saw the place... He was like "MAY GANITO PALA SA PILIPINAS?!"... and in my mind, wait til you get to see what's inside... and the rest of the story could be summed up by just looking at how he took all the pictures... he was in awe... and well, the food deserves another entry...

 

  

THE UNFORGETTABLE SAKE

THE BIRTHDAY BOY

I must say that next to Kenji Tei (my favorite ramen house), this is gonna be the best place to be at when you crave for anything Japanese... we will definitely come back...

just so when I thought I broke the monoTEAny, he dragged me to find a place where we could grab some milk teas... oh no! not again! but then, it was his birthday... so off we went to a nearby mall (where he also bought -more like-> ordered his birthday toy) to get this milk tea thirst quenched....

Happy Birthday Boy @ Happy Lemon

The Birthday Boy buying his birthday toy

This has been a photo overload... it's a special post anyway... til my next... XOXO...

GOWY Journal #3: I love you just the way you are...

I am still at a loss for words...
uhm... you know the feeling when you are so much in love... uhm....

nakatulala ka lang maghapon---hahaha...

I wanted to write a special post for my Mr. Big but he hates the drama...kaya wag pilitin...
so let me just flood you with songs that brought and kept us together all these years...

Babe/BOB/Kape/Ry/Lablab/Daddy/Bebeh koh/My Mr.Big,

Thank you for loving me just the way I am...

I also love you just the way you are...

Advance Happy Birthday, Babe!

Your Babe/BY/Tsaa/Bangbang/Mommy/Lab/Bebeh moh/Your Carrie