Monday, November 26, 2012

PWD Chronicles: Fly me to the moon...

Ever since I was a child, I have always wanted to explore the world... I wanted to be a flight attendant so I can earn while I'm living my dream...

I've always wanted to travel...  to see new places... to meet new faces...

but God has other plans...

After a college degree, a marriage degree and a kid, I still tried my luck...
degree = check... 
height = check...
face = DOUBLE check (just kidding)...
vital stats = TRIPLE check (pagbigyan nyo na)
skills = ?HALA!?!??!?! "swimming skill" is a must for a flight attendant...
dun pa lang BOKYA na... I never learned how to swim (because even as a child, I already had this muscle sprain -pulikat- my reflexes were very slow to respond given that I was hyper active pa at that time... back then, I thought it was just an embarrassing thing... now, science has got a name for it "MUSCULAR MYOTONIC DYSTROPHY"-soshal na pulikat/pamimitig ng laman-laman... Now, that explains why I was never successful with girly Chinese garter tricks without getting wounded because I would usually trip & fall face first on the ground as I hopped... hmmm... kaya siguro ako na-'pango'... sabi ko na eh, I have this feeling that I was born with a perfectly-pointed nose but those frequent accidents might've caused my misfortune hahaha...

Growing up, I was able to go places... my parents were self-financed missionaries who spread the word of God to the poorest of the poor---... so I got to travel... but not really the kind that I have dreamt of... it's fulfilling though... I just wished I was able to document those mission works... we went places, gathered experiences, name it... (I'll try to get some photos-if there are still anything left of it)... so I told myself, "this is living my dream the noble way"... hmmm... di ko naman kasi na-mention kay Lord na gusto ko pleasure travel sabi ko lang gusto ko magtravel... that mission work didn't last long coz my father passed away even before he landed to his dream mission trip... THE HOLY LAND... he got financed by a philanthropist who sends preachers like him as tourist guides to the HOLY LAND but before he was able to fly, he was diagnosed with Liver Cirrhosis (which is now very clear to me - having the same symptoms due to excessive meds my fatty liver is also acting up- Tatay got his cirrhosis from the chronic liver problems brought about by eating whatever was served during his mission works then... my Nanay would usually scold him for that but she wasn't able to stop him from showing the people in the mountains/depressed areas that he was one of them... his immersion tactics led him to heaven's gate if I may say so... My Nanay would rather have us and herself starved to death than eat food that she didn't prepare-kaya siguro buhay pa kami)... so in short, my travel dreams died with my father...

Being married to a homebody made my dream to travel a luxurious FANTASY that could only happen when I am asleep and since I'm an insomniac, ALAM NA... impossible na talaga... during our first few years as a couple, he would rather buy food, sit back and relax at home than go to the mall to see the movies... given that he is a movie buff, he would patiently wait for his movies to be shown on TV rather than making short trips to the movie house... mind you, we didn't have cable pa then so waiting was like forever... gladly, we both landed a job in the film-making industry, so we got to have free movie passes from time to time... PAMBIHIRA NAMAN KUNG DI PA KAMI MAGMALL diba... I never got tired of praying to God, asking Him to give me the chance to see other places apart from the usual workplace, our home and the places in between... hahaha... True enough that when you pray with the purest intent, He will grant your wish... I was able to go places... thank You, Lord! pero may mali na naman sa prayers ko... sabi ko kasi "LORD, SANA KAHIT MINSAN LANG PALABASIN NYO AKO NG PILIPINAS"... so minsan nga lang... hehe...

Given all the answered prayer, multiple entry visas, the 'moohlas' to travel... I am here... UNFIT to travel... immobile... (thank God, my upper extremities are still cooperating though-oops, wag nating batiin baka maki-join sa pagha-hibernate ng legs ko)...



Can you just imagine how someone who loves to travel, someone whose only dream is to explore the world she lives in feels like when she cannot move her legs given her strong will and unkaboggable youth... it is beyond words... it is insanely absurd... ironically frustrating... but life has to go on... taking those small steps at a time is always better than lying on the bed... getting somewhere is already an answered prayer... short distance walks without pain really make me smile... long distance road trips make my heart shout for joy... and having those moments with my boys captured in photos makes me sing praises... having friends and family who understand what I am going through and reading/hearing/seeing those affirmative gestures of hope that I will be better again already make me feel heaven down here on earth...

I am forever grateful...
I am very much alive...
still breathing...
and hoping for a clearance to travel by plane (aba at talagang umaasa pa ah... OH YES, hope is the air that I breathe...)
And yes, those supermarket trips I usually do alone whenever I feel like it has become an addition to our family bonding activities... I can now have my husband join me inside the fitting room every time I go shopping for clothes... you see the perks of being God's favorite child/PWD-Persons With Divine love... He has got His reason, I am enjoying each season... to date, it is the season of love and unity... because I am never alone... I got nurses - one in SKYPE (virtual Nurse Jill), one on the phone (phone-a-nurse-Eva) and a doctor in the house (Dr. House aka Mr. Big)...

now, my hands are kinda asking me to rest... til my next kwento...






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